Moving On.

This week saw another step forward in my getting my health back on track, finally I have my cholesterol levels back to normal and I am no longer under threat from my doctor of being prescribed statins.

Read more here: http://acoffeeandachat.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/latest-cholesterol-check.html

It seems logical to look after my heart as much as possible in light of this year and I will continue to have regular checks on my cholesterol levels to ensure I don't let things slide.

My target for 2013 is to lose another stone and drop at least one more dress size. 

In the meantime, there is little to update this blog with regularly, so I will come back as and when there is any news and hope that anyone facing the prospect of having a pacemaker implant that comes across my blog will find it a useful resource. I know when I first found out about my AV block and the upcoming tests and implant I was desperate for information. I have tried to share some of my experiences on here to help others who find themselves in the same position that I found myself 3 months ago.

The only question I have now is, can I swing a golf club and will my game improve following the implant. Due to winter weather, I feel it will be some months before I have an answer to that question.

Answers to my questions.

12 weeks on and I have my answers.

I can do any form of exercise I was doing before my operation.

I can use iPads and tablets, and even use my mobile phone to my left ear, just not rest it on the pacemaker area. The main issue is not putting my mobile in a jacket or shirt pocket on the same side as my pacemaker.

I can do gardening as before, I can lift, carry, push & dig - yes, you guessed it, just as I did before my operation.

The pains I get in the skin over my pacemaker is just 'part of the healing process' 

and finally, can I use Bio-Oil on the scar...?

Well, actually, I forgot to ask but, on the basis of all other answers, that I can do everything as I could before my implant, I'm going to take it that I can.

My consultant is happy with everything, has replied to the DVLA request for information so that they can make a decision on whether I am ok to continue driving, which according to my consultant, isn't a problem and he hasn't scheduled any further appointments with him. I will continue with my regular check-ups and they will forward the results to him, and providing there are no concerns, the next time I'll see my consultant will be when it's time to change the pacemaker unit. May be by that time they'll be able to fit re-chargeable ones.

So, has he made it to my Christmas card list - probably. After all, thanks to him I don't have to worry about my health as the AV Block gets worse.

Life as normal again? Not quite, I'm now a lot more aware of my health and will try to look after it a little better, watch my food quality, do a bit of exercise, just be a little more aware of things. It's all been a bit if a scare and I'm grateful it's been sorted so simply.

11 weeks on.

Finally, the little hole at the end of my scar is healing although it is still an odd colour and feels as if there is a lump underneath. In a couple of days I see my cardiologist.

I have a number of questions for him. What exercise I can do, why do I get the pains in the skin over the pacemaker, as if the skin is stretching, am I safe to use and iPad/tablet, if I have to keep my mobile phone some distance from the pacemaker. Can I do lifting and carrying yet, as I'm keen to get out into the garden to clear it for Winter, to do some digging and get my bulbs planted ready for Spring.

The week after that I can get another blood test done for a further check on my cholesterol.

The operation seems a long time ago now, but the memory of the actual procedure is still very vivid, along with the constant reminder from the scar. That reminds me of another question, whether I can start using Bio-oil on the scar to reduce the redness.

Roll on Thursday or I'll have too many questions to get through in my appointment time.

8 Weeks On

8 weeks after the operation and it's business as usual for everyone around me. The events of the last few months has become a faded memory and people have finally stopped asking me how I am with a specific reference to the pacemaker and have gone back to asking how I am in the usual way of being polite but not really interested in the reply.

The scar has finally all healed together and I am hopeful that once I have seen my cardiologist at the end of the month, that I will be able to start using Bio-oil on it to reduce redness of the scar. I am still unable to wear my bra strap over the scar and it is permanently off my shoulder and hanging down my left arm.

Often the skin that is stretched across the pacemaker unit is tender and I'm not sure if that is ok or not, so that is one for the list of questions to ask at my next appointment although things are changing so quickly that by then, it may not be a problem anymore.

The damage to the office block I drove into has now been completely repaired, the internal decoration and carpets are all done and it looks really posh. It's nice not to be walking past the damage several times a day, reminding me of the accident. Not to have visitors asking what happened as they are taken upstairs to their appointment. Now, the only comments we get are about how nice it looks.

Medical Alert Bracelet or Medical Alert Watch Tag?

As the heart condition I have was only found after an accident in my car I have been very aware that should I be involved in another accident, whether my fault or someone elses, it would be crucial that any medics attending should be aware I now have a pacemaker fitted, in case I am not able to tell them.

While I was sat at home recuperating I spent time on the internet looking the options. I considered a number of bracelets. I am unable to wear necklaces because of a problem with my neck. There were  number of websites that offer medical alert jewellery but a lot of it wasn't my style. I eventually decided on the SOS Talisman and order the gold plated bracelet. It came very quickly and, as well as the bracelet and info strip there was also a sticker for my car window, which I was quite pleased with. The screw on cover kept working loose and so I needed to check it each morning. Neil did offer to 'nip' it together for me but I was concerned in case we couldn't then open it as and when it was necessary.

After a week I returned to the office after going for my flu jab and discovered I had lost the cover to my bracelet. A bit frustrating. I could buy a replacement cover but it concerned me how easy it had been lost, and felt it would be a constant problem. I do carry it in my handbag, but can't wear it anymore!

Full details and styles can be seen on this website: http://www.sostalisman.co.uk/

So, back to the drawing board for an alternative. Neil came up with the idea that we should look for something to do with my watch, as I always wear it and we found a company in America that did metal tabs that attach to your watch strap and were a fraction of the price of the bracelet I'd bought, even including the postage. And this is what it looks like:

You get a gold coloured and a silver coloured tab in each pack along with an identity card to carry in your purse/wallet which has all your personal details and details of your condition, and has the universal medical alert logo. They are made of a special metal alloy which is non-allergenic. Neil put it on my watch strap in seconds as it just moulds around the strap and will fit metal, leather and fabric straps and when I wear my watch I am completely unaware that it's there. I don't have to worry about losing it and know if I am in an accident or taken ill the medical staff will know to look for my ID card.

It gives me a little extra peace of mind.

A little problem.

As much as I am healing well from the implant, I do have a slight concern over the my scar. At one end one of the disposable stitches did not drop off as it should, instead the skin started to grow around it but didn't heal over it, it left a little hole. We have been keeping a close eye on it and while ever there was no inflammation or leakage it was ok. I kept it clean and use an antisceptic spray twice daily. 

Up until last Wednesday everything looked fine, and then there was some leakage and it left a raw looking hole, very small but a worry.

The following morning I rang my aftercare team and they suggested I should make an appointment with my doctor and have it checked out. I managed to get an appointment for later that day and she confirmed that, at the moment there is no infection, but to be on the safe side I have another course of antibiotics. 

The thought is that this is my body naturally expelling the rogue stitch and that over the next couple of weeks it will start to heal properly. Time will tell and in the meantime I just have to keep a close eye on it and let the antibiotics do their stuff.

6 weeks on.

6 weeks ago today I was sitting on the settee, propped up with pillows, feeling quite sorry for myself after surgery a few hours ago. 

Now, there is no pain unless I press on the muscle. I am getting used to the feel of the unit under my skin, even though it feels as if it is very close to the surface and I have also got the full movement back in my left arm. I still can't raise my arm straight above my head, but it's getting there. I do gentle stretching exercises each day and can feel improvement all the time. I still can't wear the left strap of my bra on my shoulder as it catches on the end of my scar which is healing slower than the rest. It's a bit lumpy and still a little discoloured but still looking clean and not showing any signs of infection.

At the weekend I started to make inroads in the house cleaning, which was really starting to bug me. 6 weeks without only the bare basics of cleaning being done meant there was a lot that was waiting to be tackled. The bathrooms have been totally cleaned and disinfected, the living rooms have been vacuumed and dusted to within a few millimeters of the skirting boards and the kitchen is still recovering from the shock of so much mopping and wiping.

It feels good to be back in charge of cleaning.

This weekend, weather permitting, I'm tackling the outside. The greenhouse needs clearing and cleaning down for winter, so that I can plant up the vegetables, seeds and bulbs ready for spring.

I still haven't started any exercise regime, not sure what I am allowed to do until I speak with the doctor in 4 weeks, so I'm having to rely on dog walking and smaller portions of food to keep my weight from creeping up. My cholesterol is still a high priority and losing weight is one way to increase my low good cholesterol count.

6 weeks ago, I really would  not have believed I would be doing so much by now.

Not quite 4 weeks

Not quite 4 weeks after the op I woke and felt some very acute pains in my left shoulder and down my left arm. It worried me. As soon as the Cardio-respiratory department at the hospital was open for phone calls I rang to see if I could speak to one of my after-care team about my pains. After a very short conversation with them they asked me to go in to see them that afternoon. I can't tell you how relieved I was to be able to go in. 

The pains continued all day unlike some pains which are there until you decide to do something about them, when suddenly they vanish, such as toothache.

Not long after arriving at the hospital I was taken through to the technicians room and they started asking a variety of questions. The general view was that the pains were just down to more movement of my arm causing the muscle where they made the pocket to be moved more and causing the pain. As it was almost 4 weeks since the operation they decided they would do my 5th November check early. They put the monitor on top of my pacemaker and started to check out what it was doing. As before, they speeded up my heart and slowed it down a couple of times and they were happy everything was working correctly and that by now the leads would be well seated and I didn't need to be concerned about lead displacement. That was a major relief for me. She then asked how my scar was healing and I explained that one end was fine but the end nearest my shoulder wasn't healing as well. She had a look and also felt it wasn't healing as well as the rest of the scar and looked a little sore. She went to see if the surgeon was able to come and have a look but unfortunately he wasn't in the hospital so we decided I should continue to keep a check on it, continue to use the antiseptic spray and hopefully it would stay infection free and heal ok.

Having seen that everything was ok, that the pains were normal and with a few positive words on how well I was recovering, they decided to cancel my appointment on November 5th and book the next one for 3 months.

As I walked out of the hospital I felt so much more positive than when I went in, despite the fact that the pain in my shoulder felt just as bad as when I went in.

And, as an added plus for the day - they said I can now start to move my arm about more, that I don't have to worry about it being above my shoulder as the leads will be well in place now. Now that is a huge relief, I can tell you.

3 Weeks On

It seems remarkable how quickly the time is passing. 3 weeks on and the scar is healing quite well, the swelling and redness have reduced significantly although at one end I have a stitch knot that is being stubborn and creating a dent in the skin. I keep a close check on it for any signs of infection as this is a possible worry while it's healing but so far it's looking clean. I use an antisceptic spray on it twice a day and try to make sure my clothes don't aggravate it. I do seem to be spending a lot of time with my bra strap off my shoulder and I wonder sometimes whether I will ever get back to wearing my bra properly again. 

I had a doctors appointment today for my cholesterol check and it's the first time my doctor has seen me since the implant so I was happy for her to take a look at the scar. She too is happy how it's healing although says it's the end is a little puckered and needs to be monitired closely.

I'm now finding the arm is wanting to be more mobile than it should be because the pain isn't there to remind me. I am instinctively reaching out to pick things up that I shouldn't so I am having to be so much more aware of what I am doing. But, at least the signs are good.

Only 4 weeks until my appointement to check everything is ok with the pacemaker unit. I'm crossing the days off on the calendar. This year, bonfirme night will have a really different meaning, that should be the day the hospital tell me the operation has been a success and I can get on with my life and not worry about the av block as it gets worse, my pacemaker will fill in the gaps.

2 weeks on - Finally back behind the wheel.

From the time I was diagnosed with 2nd degree AV block I had been unable to drive on medical grounds. It was so difficult losing my independence, to lose the ability to jump on the car and nip to the shops, to load the dogs in the back of the car and drive to the woods. It was probably one of the most difficult parts of dealing with the wait for my implant date.

Since the implant, I have not felt capable of driving, even though technically I could have driven after 1 week. I certainly didn't feel capable of having my left arm stretched out to the steering wheel, for any period of time.

I had notified the DVLA and my insurance company of my pacemaker, in preparation of driving again, a requirement that I had been told about by the hospital. Now, 2 weeks on, I felt ready to get behind the wheel again. I asked Neil to come with me so that, should I feel uncomfortable, he could drive home and I used the need to have somewhere to drive to as an excuse to go for a KFC. I found driving very comfortable and the reward of a KFC seemed appropriate for my regained independence.

I felt life was finally getting back to normal. I was back at work, I was driving again - all within 2 weeks. 

I was still having some very odd sensations inside as the site of the operation knitted together, healing slower on the inside than the external scar. I kept a close watch on my scar for signs of infection but it all seemed clean and using the antiseptic spray twice daily certainly seemed to be helping.

Next big step is my next check up. The countdown was marked on the calendar and we were crossing the days off. Already, there are a lot of crosses on the page.

Roll on November 5th.

Day 11 - A good day.

I decided I would start the days by showering and washing my hair so that my hair would not be the reason for a bad day. Not just a bad hair day, but a bad day overall. I have started to get less bothered by it being straight and flat as long as it is clean. Before my implant I was focused on how I would manage my hair and I thought it was a coping strategy to avoid thinking about other things, and that after the implant my hair would be the least of my worries. As it happens my concerns about my hair being a significant part of my recovery has turned out to be spot on. How my hair look affects the whole day.

There is little else causing problems at the moment. I am pleasantly surprised how little my clothing is bothering me at the site of the wound, other than my bra straps and I am managing well with my little summer tops which have much softer straps. It's not perfect but it is acceptable. At the moment I worry that normal bra straps will be too tight and I may need to adapt for the future. The end of my scar will always be under the strap and thus could be a problem. I have spent a lot of time on the internet and I have found a site in the US which does padded pads that fix to the strap over the wound site and help protect the skin but I haven't been able to find anything in the UK. Maybe that's because long term, it's not actually a problem, I'll find out over the next few weeks.

Reaching across my body is still uncomfortable but the tip my boss gave me of keeping my left elbow tucked into my waist is actually working very well to ensure I don't use the arm too much. I am finding I can do quite a lot with just my right hand and when I do get my left hand involved remembering to keep my elbow in stops me risking over-stretching and dis-placing the leads.After the difficulties getting them in place I really worry about them getting displaced. Once the leads have been in place a few weeks and have taken a good hold I will be able to forget about them. In fact, before the operation it was one of my biggest concerns, if the leads failed at some point after implant how did they change them. Once the heart tissue had grown around the pacing wires making a good contact how did they get them out to replace them if it was necessary. The answer? They don't. They just disconnect them from the pacemaker, put new leads in leaving the old ones in place and connect you up to the new ones. Simple Once I knew that I had few worries about the technology. 30 years ago I worked for a company that imported and sold pacemakers to the medical section in the UK. I knew how they worked. Other than being slightly smaller than the ones we used to sell, and becoming more reliable, there was little change.

I had a relaxing day and finally felt my pacemaker. I'm surprised how big it feels considering how small it is. It's a bit like when you have a broken tooth and it feels massive but in actual fact is tiny. It's very close to my collar bone and only just under the skin, I thought it would be deeper. I can see the lump in the skin when a look at my profile but I'm fairly sure that other people will not notice it unless they are looking for it. The scar will be the main give-away, and once it's healed fully I'm going to start using bio-oil to try and reduce the scarring.

Day 10 - Tears Today, Again

I got very tearful again today, today they were tears of frustration. Frustration at not being able to do simple tasks. Frustration at having to ask for help all the time.

People keep reminding me it's less than 2 weeks since my procedure and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself but it's so difficult to rest and let others do things for me when I don't feel ill.

I have to focus on the things I am able to do each day, a little step at a time.

The swelling is going down and the scar is looking a little less angry each day. I am still not supposed to let soap get into it as it is still healing, and at one end there is a bit that isn't healing as well as the rest. It is puckered and one of the knots is not falling off and the skin is growing around it. It's not infected and just looks a little ugly. I use Savlon antisceptic spray on it every morning and evening to try and keep it clear of infection and so far it's working.

Now the swelling has gone down a lot I can feel the unit quite a lot. My muscle is still very sore and any movement across my body pushes the unit into the muscle or the collar bone, so simple things like scratching an itch on my right arm is a struggle. 

I am quite adept at getting dressed myself but still need help getting undressed from Neil, once I have my right arm out of my top I can manage the rest, but I have to plan things for when Neil is around.

Slow progress, but at least it is progress.

Day 9 - Time to ring the hospital aftercare

Because of all the different sensations, pin pricking feelings etc I rang the hospital to see if it was normal. They confirmed it's all part of the healing process although if they continue at current levels in a few days to ring again and maybe go in for a check up. I felt much calmer after speaking to them. I told them I was worried about my arm doing things when I was asleep. She told me it's ok as long as there no sudden movements, no lifting or pushing, no lifting above shoulder but that there is a lot of extra cable so displacement is rare, although possible.

Had spent the day at Clumber, and tried using my brother's camera but as soon as I took it in my left hand I knew I couldn't take the weight, it pulled on my left side and passed the camera straight back before I did any damage to myself or the camera.

I had a lovely day wandering around Clumber with my brother, especially around the kitchen gardens which were still full of the most spectacular dahlias in every colour possible. I have found that just having my arm hang from my shoulder as I walk around makes it uncomfortable so I solve this by wearing my fleece and keeping my hand in my pocket. This takes the weight away from my shoulder and makes it so much more comfortable.

I'm still finding it difficult sleeping at night although have now been back in my own bed for a couple of nights. I still find I am most comfortable on the settee downstairs and if I struggle to sleep I soon get up, taking care not to push myself up with my left arm. In the first few days I found it very difficult getting up from the settee or the bed only using my right arm but I've got used to it now. 

I think I'm doing OK.

Day 8 - Odd, niggly sensations.

I woke early with a new sensation in my chest. This was the first time I'd felt any sensation other than from my wound area. It was a pricking sensation deep in my chest like someone had stuck a pin in me a couple of times. It settled for a while and then happened again. I still have the feeling of a lump in my throat which has been there continually since before the operation. 

It feels like the swelling in the muscle where the pacemaker sits has finally gone down and I can now feel the pacemaker unit quite clearly. It's the first time I've been aware of anything specific, previously it's just been an overall shoulder ache. 

I still worry about what my arm gets up to when I'm asleep. I try to keep it from moving too far from my body or above my shoulder by piling pillows around me, but these sometimes fall off the bed and I'm sure some of the early wake-ups have been caused by my arm pulling on my wound as it moved further than it should.

Once again I got up in the night and came down and got settled on the settee where I feel more secure that my arm will behave itself while I sleep, and I manage to get a couple of hours before the alarm goes off to start the day.

I wasn't working today, my brother arrived last night and we had plans to spend the day together. We decided we would visit the local Butterfly House. There are various things to see that are outdoors, but equally plenty to see indoors too.

We spent about 4 hours there and, although I hadn't taken my big camera with me, I did want to take some photos of the owls, meerkats, butterflies and other animals and decided to use the camera on my mobile phone. I soon discovered that it wasn't as easy to use my mobile one-handed as I hoped. Firstly, I couldn't raise my left arm high-enough to get a good angle to see what I was taking a photo of, secondly, I have to take care not to use it too close to my pacemaker - it needs to stay at least 6 inches away, so looking at what I have taken was a constant issue as I have always held the phone in my left hand prior to the operation and it is taking some re-training to keep using it with my right hand.

Eventually, Neil took pity on seeing me struggle and took over taking the photos. By the time we returned home, my whole shoulder area was aching and uncomfortable, I had overdone things and needed to rest. For the first time in 3 days I reverted to taking painkillers. 

Another lesson learned? I hope so!

Day 7 - One week on.

Today is a week since the operation. I know it's termed a procedure, but to me it will always be an operation!

Technically, today is the first day I can drive again but I don't feel anyway ready to get behind the wheel. I don't feel confident enough to stretch my arm out as I would need to. While I am trying to move my shoulder to avoid getting a frozen shoulder, it certainly isn't a full extension by any means.

But, today is also the first day I can get my wound wet. Although I could shower from day 3, I had to keep the wound area dry because I have dissolvable stitches and we don't want them dissolving too soon. So I had chosen not to shower until the first week was over. I'm lucky to have 2 showers to choose from. The one I normally use is over the bath and I was worried if I stumbled getting in or out my instinct would be to use my arms to stop me from falling, which could put pressure on my shoulder and which I am not to do for 6 weeks. So today, I chose to use the walk-in shower. I had checked whether it was ok to get soap on the wound and was advised not to until the scar is looking better healed, so I draped a clean flannel over the top which would allow me to stand under the shower but prevent any shower gel or shampoo from getting direct contact with the wound.

I was even able to wash my own hair for the first time in a week. It was a few moments before I worked out how to get the shampoo out of the bottle, onto my right hand, put the bottle down and rub the shampoo onto my hair without too much involvement from my left hand and without all the shampoo rinsing off my hand before it got to my scalp, but soon enough I had it mastered. I stood under the falling water for several minutes, thoroughly enjoying the feeling. I felt I had made progress, I could get washed without help. That feeling stopped as soon as I turned the shower off. I needed help to get dried and to wrap a towel around my hair. Hey, ho - one small step at a time.

The rest of the day was a repeat of yesterday. I spent the morning at work without any complications. Neil came to pick me up and take me for lunch before doing some grocery shopping and then, once home I rested in the afternoon before my brother arrived for his visit. 

Still no need for painkillers, I even got involved in preparing dinner by cooking the potatoes. I do hate the feeling of being so dependant on others to do everything for me. Another 6 weeks to my appointment to get the all clear.

Day 6 - Too independent

As Neil had an early start this morning, I walked round to my neighbour to see if she would give me a lift to work, as she had offered at the weekend. She was happy to drive me the short distance and the morning was a lot easier than yesterday. I decided I would stay a little longer and leave once my colleague came back from lunch. As Neil was not going to be home to pick me up, I decided to check the local bus service. I knew there was a bus that called at the supermarket across the road from my office block that went along the street at the end of where I live. My thought process was that I would go for some lunch in the supermarket restaurant first and then get the bus home. 

Before going in for lunch I checked the timetable. The bus does a loop and I wasn't sure whether my street was at the beginning of the loop or if I would be staying for the full circuit. I wasn't concerned either way, I was in no rush to get home. The timetable showed the bus was due to leave at 2.05 and get to my street at 2.11 - I was at the early part of the route.

The timing suited my plans, I would finish work at 1.15, pop across and have my lunch and be at the bus terminal with 5 minutes to spare. Knowing this was a start terminal, I wasn't too worries about the bus leaving ahead of time. It turns out I should have been more worried about it leaving at all.

I had a good morning in the office and didn't feel to weary when I left. A fabulous bowl of pea & mint soup later, I was ready to start my journey home 10 minutes ahead of time. As I was about to leave the supermarket I overheard and elderly couple talking of waiting inside the entrance to the store to see the bus go to the terminal before going out as it was raining. It seemed like a sensible suggestion but I decided I would just go and look around the corner to make sure the bus wasn't already there.

The weather had a definite winter feel to it and once happy that the bus wasn't already hiding around the corner, I decided to follow suit and wait in the dry warmth of the supermarket entrance and returned.

And we waited, frequently checking the time on the wall clock, watching the time tick away. No bus came into view in any direction. 10 minutes after the scheduled departure time the elderly couple decided they would wait no longer and started walking off across the car park, to where? I had no idea!

Another 5 minutes and I too decided I was waiting for a bus that was not going to show. I had a decision to make. I could go back to the office and ask if anyone had time to run me home, it would take no more than 10 minutes out of their day and, if it was me in the office and a colleague needing a lift, I would be only too happy to help. But, the independent part of me kicked in, and I decided to walk home, in the rain. After all, it's only my shoulder that's a problem and I could hold my umbrella in the other hand. So, of I set.

The cold and rain didn't particularly bother me and, despite the weather, the walk along the canal was actually quite pleasant. After about 15 minutes my left shoulder began to ache, just from the weight of my arm hanging on the end of it. I didn't have any pockets in my coat or trousers so couldn't take weight of my arm as I had before when out with the dogs. I tried tucking it in the belt fastening on my coat but found I was actually tensing my arm to do so, as otherwise it just fell out, and that was no more comfortable then having the weight of my arm pulling on my shoulder. I still had 15 minutes walking to do. I had not taken into account the effect on my damaged shoulder area of having an arm hanging there for half an hour.

By the time I got home I was in a certain amount of discomfort and very glad to be able to settle down on the settee with my every trusty V-pillow.

Out of interest I rang the bus company to see whether the timetable was out of date, but no, the timetable was correct, there was just traffic issues that had prevented them getting the bus through. Typical, the first day in about 10 years I had decided to trust public transport to get me from A to B and it doesn't turn up.

With hindsight, I should have taken the easier option and gone back the office to ask for help. Lesson learned? Probably not.

Day 5 - Back to Work

It was always my target to return to work the Monday after the operation. My logical thought process was this:

1. I would be sitting at home using my laptop, so I would be able to sit at my desk and use the computer. I am fortunate that the largest part of my work id desk based either inputting data and creating reports, or on the phone.

2. If I was technically able to drive after a week, I could surely be able to work at my desk after 5 days.

3. I would just do half a day so as not to over-tire my shoulder and rest for the afternoon. Fortunately, my manager was happy for me to do a phased return to work.

So, the first challenge was getting ready for work in time to get to work at my normal start time. I calculated we would need an extra 30 minutes for Neil to wash & dry my hair on top of our usual routine and I'd set the alarm accordingly. We found the timing was a little generous and we had time to sit and enjoy a coffee together before Neil dropped me off at the office.

The first job each day is to check the data on the computer for any errors. It is generally clear, but not this morning. It threw an error which meant I spent the next hour on the phone to our support company fixing the error. I have always used the phone to my left ear, held in my left hand so I can write any instructions of use my right hand to key in anything needed as I type quicker with my right hand. Today I found holding the phone in my left hand for more than 5 minutes was hard. I was constantly switching hands, putting the phone down on the desk while processes were running, anything to ease the time holding the phone. It didn't cause me any pain, but it was uncomfortable.

The rest of the morning went smoothly and my colleagues were helpful and supportive, as they have been throughout.

After 3 and a half hours I was ready to finish, my shoulder was aching but not sore but I did feel I needed to rest. Once home I settled on the settee with my trusty V-pillow, which has been so essential over the last few days.

It had felt good to get back to work, a bit of normality and because I don't look ill and people can't see the scar or any sign of the operation, after the surprise of seeing me soon after surgery people just treated me as they always had. Today was a good day.

Day 4 - Today there were tears.

From the day I realised they had found something wrong with my heart I have had difficulty accepting it. I didn't feel ill. I wasn't showing any symptoms. They had to have it wrong.

Even after I had started to have follow up tests and scans, had received my date for the implant, I still felt at some point someone was going to tell me they'd got it wrong. 

Sat outside the operating theatre I asked the consultant if he was sure I needed this implant.

Today, it was as if all the stress and tension and worry of the last few weeks finally reached the surface. It was the simplest of comments from Neil which set me off, and all I wanted to do was cry. I shed a few but tried to stay strong for those around me. I was frustrated how little I could do, I was annoyed at the discomfort I was in, I was unhappy how reliant I was on others and I was still struggling to accept it had all happened, even though I had the car to prove it.

Today was the day I had to remove the dressing and let the air get to the scar. Today was the day I would have a constant reminder of the operation. It was ugly and I wanted to hide it behind a dressing again, but I knew I couldn't. 

Finally, the tears stopped. I had got the last few weeks out of my system and now needed to move on. Whatever I thought I couldn't change anything. The pacemaker was in, was working and would be responsible for making sure the AV Block never caused me any problems as the condition gets worse.


I know the accident was a blessing in disguise, I know that catching the condition so early is a blessing and I know that the pacemaker will allow me to have good health over the coming years but.. I'm only human, I'm allowed a bad day.

Day 3 - Best way to do my hair

Ever since I was told that after the pacemaker was implanted I would not be able to raise my left arm arm above my shoulder I knew my hair was going to be a problem. My hair needs washing every day, it's so fine if it's not it looks as if it hasn't been touched for a week.

Neil had practiced combing it through and drying it before the procedure but at that time I wasn't having to protect a painful and delicate shoulder. We decided to try with me kneeling at the side of the bath with a pillow between the bath and my shoulder. We could then use the shower head over the bath to wash the shampoo away. It worked well for me but it pulled on Neil's lower back, which is prone to problems, tomorrow we would try at the sink, which is higher.

I did feel as if I was being drowned as the water flowed across my face, but at least I had clean hair for the first time in 3 days.

Since I started working on reducing my cholesterol levels and cut down the amount of saturated fat in my food (I refuse to use the word diet) my hair has changed significantly, even my hairdresser was surprised, it gets very knotty when wet, especially close to the scalp. It takes a lot of gentle combing through and is time consuming for me, so I knew Neil would struggle.

Eventually, it was all combed through and he got the hairdryer out. I told him not to worry about using a brush to try and curl the ends under, just to rough dry it and comb it through again.

It was a small thing but hugely important to me. Over the next couple of days we got the time it took down to 20 minutes and it meant we would have time before work, so I could leave the house feeling as if I'd made a bit of an effort.

It felt like we'd made a big step forward.

Day 2 - A Planned PJ Day

I had made the decision before the dawn broke that I was going to make no effort to do anything. I would not try to get dressed. I would not try to wash my hair (or rather would not try to get Neil to wash my hair). I would not try walking the dogs (yes, they were due back today) and I would not try to do anything in the kitchen.

Today I would allow myself to rest. Neil had chosen to stay at home and look after me, and I would let him.

Then I remembered I had an appointment at the hospital that afternoon for my check up to see that everything was working properly. Well, at least I could rest during the morning. Then I remembered, the dogs were due back this morning. I decided a PJ day of rest wasn't going to happen.

My left shoulder was very uncomfortable, but not painful, but then I was still taking regular painkillers. I was conscious not to move my arm much as it had been stressed to me on a number of occasions, I needed to give everything time to settle. I couldn't stretch out, raise my left arm above my head, use it to push up or lift anything - today none of that would be a problem. I felt very delicate. 

My first challenge was breakfast. I found I couldn't raise my left hand to my mouth, breakfast would be a one-handed affair. Afterwards, I decided I needed to find out clothes I could manage to wear. 

After some help from Neil, I managed to get dressed. I had some very stretchy vest tops which were easy to wear and I could let the left strap fall down off my shoulder, which actually acted as a reminder not to move my arm too much. I had been told not to move my arm behind me, as you do when putting your arm in a sleeve. All this was to prevent the risk of displacing the leads, not a common issue but something that could happen. I really didn't fancy a repeat of Wednesday's procedure so taking care would not be difficult. On the other hand, I was to take care not to keep my shoulder too still, or that could lead to a frozen shoulder. 

A couple of hours later the dogs were back, my brother and sister-in-law brought them over and stayed for a while. The dogs seemed to sense I wasn't well and kept their distance.

Later that afternoon we got ready for my hospital appointment. The first challenge was getting into the car. I decided to sit on the back seat behind Neil so the seat-belt would go across my good shoulder. My dressing was due for changing today and I had left it thinking that they would check it at the hospital, and then it would save me having to do it. When we got there I was told that they didn't change the dressing as it wasn't a sterile environment (but this is a hospital) and I would be better doing it at home. The check was done by putting a small unit on top of the pacemaker, but on top of my clothing, about the size of a computer mouse. This would transmit signals from my pacemaker to the monitor. Neil could see the monitor and was able to watch as they made the pacemaker speed up, I could feel my heart beat faster. Then they slowed it down, and speeded it up again, before putting it back to normal.

They told me that at the moment it is set to the factory settings and they will check it again in  a couple of times over the next 6 months, after which they will have enough information to be able to decide what rate the pacemaker should be set at to suit my normal heart rate.

The told me how important it was to make sure I kept the wound area as clean as possible and watched for any signs of infection, as it could be really serious if it got infected with the pacing leads going straight into my heart, any infection could pass straight to my heart as well.

So now I have 2 major concerns, how much or little I move my arm and watching out for signs of infection. 

At least for today, the appointment was good and everything is working as it should. 

Back home, I change back into my PJ's to start my PJ day, letting Neil look after me while I rest. But first we had the task of changing my dressing. I didn't want to look at it until Neil had looked and could tell me how good or bad it looked. I watched his face as he removed the dressing and I didn't see too much shock on his face so I decided I would be brave and take a look in the mirror. 

The whole area was yellow from the iodine and the scar was bigger than I expected, although some of that was probably due to the swelling, and the stitches didn't look very pretty at all. Neil put a fresh dressing on and I could then get on with my PJ day. I had to keep the dressing on until Sunday when I was to take it off and leave the wound open to the air.

Tomorrow's target is hair washing. I normally wash my hair every day and tomorrow would be 4 days since it had been done, I was desperate for clean hair.

Day 1

After a couple of hours on the ward, the consultant came to check the wound, and happy that there was no excessive swelling, leakage or undue pain he gave me the ok to go home. Neil gathered my belongings and less than 3 hours after I was in the operating theatre I was on my way home. 

I was grateful that the dogs had gone to my brothers for a few days, I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with their excitement at me being home, but the house still felt very empty when we opened the door. 

Neil got me settled on the settee with all my pillows and went to get the quilt. I had already taken some painkillers at the hospital and had been sent home with a pack of antibiotics which I needed to take every 4 hours, some clean dressings and a sheet of paper telling me how to look after myself for the next few days. I had an appointment at the cardio-respiratory clinic in 2 days to have a check that everything was working ok. In the meantime, I needed to rest and let the healing start.

Today, everything hurt. I found it uncomfortable to lay down, sitting was the most comfortable position, with my v-pillow supporting my left side and another pillow on my lap to rest my left arm on. Finally, the diazapan seemed to work and I slept. 

We decided I would sleep downstairs tonight, Neil would stay with me incase I needed anything. We had decided I would take painkillers regularly for the first couple of days and I was taking paracetamol and ibuprofen on alternating 2 hour intervals. It kept the pain under control and I managed to sleep reasonably well, glad that the worse was over.

The Procedure - Details of the Operation - Be Warned

This post will give a graphic account of the implant procedure. Be warned, you may find some items upsetting.

As I was wheeled through the double doors I was met with my implant team. A nurse helped me off with my dressing gown and up onto the bed. As I turned to lay down I took in all the equipment around me. On one side was a monitor that would be used to keep a check on my heart activity. The procedure was being done under a local anaesthetic, so I would be awake throughout but it was important for them to monitor my heart throughout. 

Above me was a large, round, white globe with what looked like a plastic bag over it. My active mind assumed this was incase of blood splatters, not a pleasant thought considering what was about to happen. I thought this was a light but infact it was the X-ray machine that would allow the surgeon to check where the pacing wires were going.

Hanging from the ceiling above my knees level was a bank of 3 screens. At the start these were blank, I would find out what these we for later.

My hospital gown was opened and the surgeon draped cloths over my shoulder and across my neck, and over my chest. He then explained he would swab the skin with iodine to sterilise the area, something he did with great flourishes and then he began to administer the anaesthetic into my shoulder area. I lost count after 8 injections and began to wonder how long it would take to numb. Thinking how they send you out in to the waiting room at the dentists while the anaesthetic takes effect, I was quite surprised that it took only a couple of minutes before the surgeon was asking me if I could feel a sensation in my shoulder when he touched it, I wasn't sure what he was pressing into my skin but although I could feel pressure, there was no pain. He explained I would feel some pulling and tugging and he would tell me what was going on as it happened, and with that he made the incision near my collar bone through which everything would be done.  I was aware of 3 nurses in the room along with the technician on the monitoring equipment as well as the consultant. If anyone else was in the room, I wasn't aware of them. I looked towards the monitoring machine, away from where the surgeon was working as he explained the first thing he would be doing was making the pocket between my muscle and my skin for the pacemaker unit to sit in. 

It was an odd sensation, feeling the movement in the muscle and the pressure on the area, aware of what was happening but unable to feel pain. It took more pushing and pulling than I thought but the consultant told me it's because I'm relatively young for having a pacemaker (apparently the week before they had fitted one in a 90 year old man) and so my muscle was tighter and thus took more effort to open up for the pocket. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain and yelled out, tears leaking from the corner of my eyes. The consultant stopped and gave me more anaesthetic. 

After a few minutes he continued, checking that everything was numb again. As much as I had my head turned away, I was aware of him measuring the pacing wires against my body, from my heart to my shoulder. I knew they would leave a good amount of extra wire so that movement of my arm would not put pressure on the leads and cause them to become displaced. They had told me that they were putting a dual-on-demand pacemaker in, so there were 2 wires to put in place.

The consultant then told me they were going to turn on the X-ray machine so that he could watch the progress of the wires as he fed them down the vein into my heart. The large, white globe was moved into position, what I thought was a light was actually the X-ray unit. The 3 large screens at the base of my bed were also turned on, as this was where the consultant would follow progress, but I couldn't see any of them because of the X-ray unit which was hovering about 12 inches above my chest.

They explained that I may feel some sensation as they fed the wires down into my heart and that this was normal. I'm not sure whether I felt or imagined it, but I had a fluttering sensation, nothing more. It seemed to take such a long time for the wires to go in and I was aware of a cool trickle over my shoulder and down my back, which I assumed was blood leaking from the wound.

Finally, the wires were in place and it was time to test them. It turned out this was when I would have appreciated a general anaesthetic the most. The surgeon stood back and asked for a report on the pacing wires. The technician looked at his monitor and said 'nothing'. The surgeon came back to the table and pushed and pulled some more and then, retreating a few feet asked again for a report, to be met with the same answer 'nothing'. 

This continued for several minutes until finally they started getting a reading, by which time I was starting to panic thinking they weren't going to get it sorted and so the reading was off the scale and they needed to get me calmed down so that they could get a clear reading. Finally, they started to get readings they could work with but it took a good while longer before they started to get the levels they were looking for.

Eventually, they were happy with the placement of the leads and their output and they started to stitch me up, when once again I felt some pain, Again they administered more anaesthetic and firstly stitched the pacing wires in place, then repaired the pocket and before closing the wound itself, they gave me a shot of antibiotic directly into the wound to help prevent infection. All that was left to do was stitch up the wound and apply a large dressing. Finally, one of the nurses came to help me get dressed and get me back into the chair ready to take me back to the ward.

It had not been a pleasant experience and had taken far longer than expected, about twice as long as I'd been told initially. I'd been in theatre an hour and a half. The surgeon asked if I was ok and apologised that it had not gone as smoothly as normal. I told him I was ok but that he wouldn't be on my Christmas Card list this year. 

The technician could see how upset I was and started to explain that they hadn't lied to me about how it would be and how long it would take, I had just been unlucky that it hadn't been as straightforward as it should have been and that they'd had such trouble getting the pacing wires in place. I appreciated him trying to make me feel less stressed but it wasn't helping at this point, I just wanted to get out of the operating theatre and back to Neil. 

As they wheeled me out I was aware that there was a man waiting in his chair outside the doors ready to be brought in for his implant and I tried to hide how upset I was, it didn't seem fair to add to any worries he may already have before going in by letting him see how traumatised I was.

Finally, I got back to the ward and they settled me into bed and brought Neil through. The hard part was over.

Now, I had 6 weeks recovery to start.

D-Day - Before The Procedure

It was a given that I would not sleep well, and I didn't. By 4am I was up and busy downstairs. We were due to get up at 6am anyway, as I had to have a light breakfast early as I was not allowed anything to eat or drink after 7am. 

The house was incredibly quiet without the dogs, who had gone through to my brother & sister-in-law's the night before. Normally, if I get up in the middle of the night Brandy will come down with me, and there is no doubt that it would have lovely to have him to cuddle on this particular morning.

By 6am I was showered and my bag was packed ready for the day. it was good to know that I would be home within 12 hours and it would all be over, but I was glad I could only have a light breakfast as there was no way I could have eaten too much.

We were due at the hospital by 8am but my colleagues at work had advised an earlier arrival if possible as the procedures are carried out in the order of arrival. We parked and walked into the Diagnostic Day Unit at 7.45am. I was met by a nurse who asked Neil to wait in the waiting room and took me through to my bed on the ward. Her first comment to me was that I would be last on the morning list, so nothing would happen until around 11am. Once I was booked in I was free to go for a wander with Neil, bearing in mind I couldn't eat or drink anything. My colleagues hadn't been wrong in their advice, the people having the same procedure were taken through in the order they arrived, but the order in which they did the various procedures dictated the timings.

There were a couple of TOE (internal, tube-down the throat scans), a couple of angio-grams that I was aware of and only one other pacemaker, a chap through on the other ward. I got booked in, got my wrist ID-tag and went back to Neil to let him know we had a couple of hours to spare, and we set off to explore the hospital and find somewhere for Neil to get some lunch while I was having my implant.

By 10.30am I was back on the ward and because one of the patients that should have come down from another ward hadn't arrived for their procedure the nurses came over to start getting me ready. Once I had changed into a hospital gown and put on my dressing gown, they started by giving me 2 diazapans and 2 of the antibiotics I would be taking over the next 5 days to prevent infection in the wound. The nurse told me the diazapans were to help me relax and, in view of the fact I had been up since 4am she warned me not to go to sleep as I hadn't signed my consent form yet. I would do that outside theatre.

She really had no need to worry, the diazapan had no effect on me at all. 15 minutes later I was wheeled past Neil and down to the X-ray theatre where the procedure would be done, and I was finally going to meet the Cardiologist who would perform the procedure. While I was waiting outside the theatre several people came and looled at my notes, confirmed my name & DOB and asked a variety of questions, all to enable them to make the decision on what type of pacemaker they would use, a single lead, double or triple. They decided on a dual-lead on-demand pacemaker.

Finally, the consultant came out to talk to me and explain what would happen, he answered any questions I had and I finally signed my consent form to permit him to carry out the implant. At this late stage I still asked if he was sure this was what I needed and he confirmed it was. He acknowledged how anxious I was and said he would give me as much local anaesthetic as he could.

There was nothing more for me to do. I was minutes away from being taken into the x-ray theatre where the procedure would be done. It was time to be as grown up as I could. I felt very alone and desperately wanted Neil there. 

I knew I was in this one on my own for the next hour. I had to fight back the tears, I could have happily bawled my eyes out. I wanted the diazapen to take effect. It didn't. 

And then the nurse came to take me in.This was it. I was about to find out how strong i really was.

The shortest 5 weeks on the calendar.

On the 23rd August I had my heart scan done, at which time Tracy told me it would probably be 4-5 weeks until the 'procedure' to implant the pacemaker would be done. I had a hair appointment on the 1st September and booked my next appointment for the 6th October knowing once I'd had my implant I would be unable to do my hair myself properly for several weeks, so wanted it freshly cut and coloured as close to the operation as possible.

The week after my hospital scan I received a letter from the hospital, by now I was recognising the envelope. I opened it, half knowing this would be the date for my implant. The emotions were mixed, it would take me from the worry of waiting for a date, to the worry of knowing when it was to happen.

And then I had it in black & white, staring at me from the page - Wednesday 19th September, only 2 weeks away. Part of me was shocked how soon it was, how was I going to get all the chores done ahead of the procedure, knowing how restricted I would be for the few weeks afterwards. Part of me was relieved, I didn't have too long to worry about the actual op.

Part of me was panicking that I didn't have too long to worry about the op. 

My head was all over the place, this was now feeling real. There was no going back. I had a heart condition. It would get worse. It would cause me problems in the future. A pacemaker would make sure it didn't. 

All rational thoughts were overwhelmed by crazy, panic thoughts. The test results could've led to a much worse outcome. I was fortunate they had identified the AV Block, I was fortunate it could be easily controlled, it could've been something much worse.....the rational part of me knew all this.

The emotional side wasn't listening. I was scared. People kept telling me I would be like a new woman afterwards, but in truth, I was quite happy with the old one. They had identified the condition early, before it was affecting my health, I didn't expect to feel any different afterwards.

I had planned for 5 weeks, I had 2 - it was happening too fast. At times when I was left on my own, with my thoughts undistracted the panic over what was happening took hold and I would find myself in floods of tears.

It was difficult for Neil, there was only so much he could do to support me, and he did everything he could. Since being told that the AV Block only showed up at night neither of us were sleeping well, I worried about going to sleep incase something happened and Neil kept waking up to check on me, to make sure I was ok. 

The expected 5 weeks had  turned into a very short 2 weeks.

The next 2 weeks would be the longest 2 weeks of my life.

Catching up with pre-procedure stuff

For those of you new to my blogs, you can catch up with what happened between having the 48 hour ECG monitor and getting my appointment through on my 'Fancy a Coffee & a Chat' blog - here are the links:


http://acoffeeandachat.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/impatient-for-news.html

http://acoffeeandachat.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/worst-case-scenario.html

http://acoffeeandachat.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/echocardiogram-time.html

24/48 ECG monitoring

The CT scan I had a few weeks ago has fortunately come back clear. It doesn't explain the accident but it's good to know I have a healthy head.

At the same time I was also referred for 24 heart monitoring. The Cardio-respiratory department was located at the opposite end of the hospital, I was going to get to know this hospital very well over the next few weeks. I was wired up to a machine for several minutes while they ran some basic tests and asked some basic questions, do I get dizzy spells or feel faint, do I have palpitations etc. etc, to each I answered 'no'. Then they stuck 3 pads to my chest and sent me home for 24 hours attached to a portable monitor. The unit hung from a strap around my neck and I had a small booklet in which I was to make a note if I had any feelings in my heart that were note worthy. I couldn't think what I would be noting as I had never had any issues with my heart but the doctors wanted everything checking out so I was happy to oblige.

I was to do everything I normally do while wearing the unit, except have a shower. It was cumbersome with 3 thickish, long wires stuffed up my jumper and the unit felt quite heavy around my neck, but it was only for 24 hours. It was Friday lunchtime so, after picking a sandwich up from the hospital restaurant I returned to work. 

Now, a little on the hospital restaurant. It's at the head of the corridor to the cardiology department and has leaflets and posters outside about cholesterol reducing. So, you would think there would be a variety of low fat foods available - oh no. I eventually managed to find a sandwich that would do, but I was totally disappointed in the choice - how ironic.

Anyway, back at work the monitor didn't bother me too much and after a while I managed to forget it was hanging around my neck. We had deliberately not made plans to go out that night and so the next hurdle would be trying to sleep attached to the cables - and it wasn't easy for me. After a restless night I spent Saturday morning clock watching, hardly able to wait for the 24 hours to come to an end. Eventually the time came for me to peel off the pads holding the wires in place and I could bag the unit up for returning to the hospital for analysis on the Monday morning. 

On my way to work I drove by the hospital and took the unit back to the cardiology dept along with a blank record card. I didn't have any 'off feelings' from my heart, never had and hadn't expected to have any just by being hooked up to a monitor. The receptionist confirmed my blank card was intentional and after I said yes, I left to start the wait for yet another letter not to arrive. 

After 4 weeks of no call back to the hospital, I finally began to relax and feel that I would never be able to explain the accident but at least I'd been fully checked out, which was no bad thing.

Then it happened, week 5 - I got a letter telling me they wanted me back to have another monitor fitted - this time for 48 hours. Suddenly I got concerned again. Friends tried to re-assure me they were just double checking before discharging me - but I wasn't convinced. I went back to the hospital the following day and was once more fitted with sticky pads, wires and the unit around my neck. I explained that due to the osteoarthritis in my neck I found having the unit hanging there uncomfortable, so he said I could carry it in the pocket of my jeans as long as the cables were not pulled taut. And so 48 hours began.

It was 48 hours that would change my life significantly.

The tests begin...

The first set of tests were routine bloods. The only thing that showed up was high cholesterol, especially my triglycerides, which are the bad ones. These were at +3 and I needed to reduce my intake of saturated fat to try and reduce this level or the doctor said they would need to consider putting me on statins. As I prefer not to take unnecessary medication, and adjustment to my diet should make a significant impact on the +3 and I agreed with the doctor to see what I could do in 3 months.

On my return home I googled low saturated fat diet and came across this diet sheet http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Low-Fat-Diet-Sheet.htm

Looking at this I could see why my cholesterol was high, the majority of my diet was made up from column 3, enhanced with red meat. It was going to take major adjustment to my diet but I was keen to start. We took the list and set off to the supermarket to start studying labels. The daily recommended level of saturated fat is 20gm per day, I was aiming to restrict mine to 10 or below where possible.

All my other blood tests were normal. There was still no possible explanation for the accident other than I had become distracted!

My doctor asked if they'd done a CT scan when I went to hospital. When I answered in the negative she decided it would be wise to have one done, just to be sure, although she was fairly confident it would be clear. She filled in the relevant form and I went down to the appointment clerk to get my date & time sorted for seeing the consultant at the hospital prior to my scan.

The following week I sat infront of the consultant going through the same story again, answering the same questions again, having the same reflex tests again. The consultant was confident there was nothing wrong but agreed with my doctor, he would refer me for a CT scan to be sure. 

As a final comment he said he would also refer me for an ECG while we were at it, to cover all bases. That comment would lead to so much more than anyone expected. 

My CT scan day can be seen here: http://acoffeeandachat.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/scan-time.html

How it all started - A Brief History

Back in June, I had a bad day. Driving back to work after lunch one Friday, on a rainy afternoon, I remember choosing my parking space on arrival back at the office, and turning into park the car when something happened, that I cannot recall. All I know is several seconds are missing in my recollection of that day and it was the difference between me parking the car properly and finding the front of my car embedded in the wall of the office block. 

My first recollection is that I needed to do something to stop the car and I had no idea what to do, so I turned the ignition off. Then I realised the car had come to a halt too close to the car next to me which meant I couldn't get out and there was no-one around so I didn't know if anyone realised what had happened. Doh! I sounded the horn unaware that inside the building people were dashing to help me. 

I was fine. I was not injured but I was confused. How could my car go from driving into a parking space to being embedded in a brick wall?

Finally, I was helped out of the car and gave my keys to a colleague so they could move my car and inspect the damage to both the car and the building.

Without me knowing, one of my colleagues had phoned for an ambulance while another had been to fetch Neil and by the time Neil arrived I was being checked over by a couple of paramedics. 

They took me to hospital to be checked over where they took all the various checks and asked lots of questions, my answers to which were all to the negative and eventually they decided I was a bit of a mystery woman as they couldn't find any reason for the accident. I was fine apart from my blood pressure being high, not unexpected considering what I had just experienced, and so I was discharged and sent home.

I naturally have good blood pressure and a low natural heart rate. I have a monitor at home and was able to keep an eye on it in the days after the accident. A week later and both were still too high and so I decided to visit my doctor, just to make sure it wasn't a problem.

That was the start of 3 months, which resulted in me needing a pacemaker implant. This blog will follow that journey and continue with life after the implant.