A year on from the accident that started the path to the pacemaker.

When I first got my calendar for 2013 and marked off Saturday 8th June as a day I would be leaving the car on the drive. This was the anniversary of the accident last year where I crashed my car into a wall. An odd accident that I couldn't explain & that led to a series of tests that resulted in the doctors diagnosing my heart condition.

I know deep down that if my condition was the cause of the accident it couldn't happen again as my pacemaker would prevent any possible loss of consciousness, but I really didn't want to take any chances.

It's remarkable to think how much the whole incident shook me up; how difficult I found it to accept that I had this problem when I felt so well.

Now, one year on I feel incredibly fortunate that I had the accident. After all, no-one (including myself) was injured, all the damage has been put right both to my car and the office block where I work and the condition that will continue to get worse and would start to make me feel unwell, if not by now certainly in the future, will continue to worsen without affecting my health and lifestyle.

My biggest issue this summer is not exposing my scar to direct sunshine, with the recent British summers that's not such a massive problem. Fortunately I do not wear tops and dresses with very strappy straps and the majority of vest tops I do wear, when the sun is out, cover the scar quite nicely.

Several people told me how I would feel like a new woman after having my pacemaker implant, but in actual fact I don't feel any different. I have more energy this year than I did last, but I think that has more to do with the weight I have lost while getting my cholesterol under control rather than any effect from my pacemaker.

You may notice I now refer to it as 'my pacemaker' not 'the' pacemaker or 'a' pacemaker. This is a deliberate decision I have taken. It helps me accept it as part of me rather than an alien object.  One year on, I can look back on the whole experience and accept the highs and lows it brought with it. I realise it put our lives on hold for a good 6 months, that it put both physical and emotional stress on me, my family and friends and their support was crucial in dealing with the whole situation.

One year on I can look back and be grateful that the accident highlighted a problem before it became a problem, that the condition is controlled and I have regular medical checks. One year on there is relief that the outcome of the tests didn't result in anything worse. One year on I am probably healthier than I have been for several years.

It's a shock to anyone when they are diagnosed with a condition or illness that requires surgery, a life change or some major shift to the normal life style, but I am now able to take the positives from the last 12 months. 

A lot can happen in a year, now I'm looking forward to a year where not a lot happens.